Drained

There are many things weighing on me these days, literally!  I am in a particular interesting season and am asking God to pour into me in His supernatural way.  I have a feeling there are far too many women feeling desperately weighed down just like me.  Our to do lists are longer than any of us would like to admit (too much anxiety!!), our children's social and activity calendars are unending, most of us work in and outside of the home, we serve on boards, we volunteer at the school, we pour into our friends and family - we give and give and give.  And then we feel we have nothing left, we give just a little more. Y'all, I seriously have 6 email addresses that I check constantly.  That is INSANITY.    And, I don't know about you, but I am EXHAUSTED!  In a way that I have never felt before - so, I finally admitted it.  I admitted it my husband and then to God.  I know my order is a little wonky but it took my sweet hubs telling me he sees how I continue to fill everyone's cup but mine for me to realize it was OK to say I was running on empty.  And God delivers, as He always does, in the exact right time.  As I began these conversations with Him I began to notice all these women that I admire saying the EXACT same thing.  I started reading Present Over Perfect and I already feel so blessed.  Jennie Allen posted on her blog how she has been running on empty for years.   And she said something so freeing, "We cannot pour out what's not poured in".  SO, SO good and so true. I am promising myself to evaluate everything that is on my plate right now and to pray over every single one of them.  I want His blessing on every single thing I continue to take on and raise my hand for.   I already know what He is telling me, rest in Me, let me refill you so you can give of yourself in the way I have designed.  I love, love, love to serve and nurture.  If you asked me what I would do if money and time were no issue it would be simple:  Love on my family and love other people.  I find the greatest joy in helping a friend, I love to volunteer at the school and get to know the teachers and students, I LOVE helping small, faith-based nonprofits cast vision and see potential.  But the reverse of that gift and passion is doing too much too often.  Consequently, everyone only gets drained, shriveled pieces of me and no one gets a glimpse of the pure joy I have because of Him.  I pray for all the women in my life that they find clarity in their calling.  I pray that we all find rest in Him and the courage to say No when it isn't for us.  I had a moment of clarity for myself - if I am always the one saying yes first, am I standing in the way of someone else who is ACTUALLY supposed to have this one?  Is someone else stealing my yes's when they should be saying no?  I know exactly who to ask to direct my decisions.  And I am so ready for Him to free me up to walk out my call.  And if my call right now is a nappy nap, well, Momma is SOOOO OK with that!!